super power

I wake up and I had a manger problem. It was the super power nobody wanted to have. I had the power to put on weight. Sound great right? No not at all. So I sat in bed 700 pound heavier than I have ever been. It looked like I had ate sixty pound of little Debbie cakes. I thought what kind of super power is this. The only fighting move I had was to sit on people. I thought what a crappy fighting move. So I got up and went outside to greet the world. The next thing that happened wasn't good. People on the streets were staring me down like a freak at the circus. Some three year old had the guts to say to me. hay you are the reason for global warming. I kept on walking ignoring the little brat. But as I looked forward I saw some guy robbing a lady that looked like she has had a rough last night. I started running at the guy and he started laughing. He then run to the under ground subway to get away. Instead of chasing him. I said to my self jokes on you foul  the subway is closed. I walked over to the under ground stair way to meet the foul as he was running back up the stairs. I must have surprised him or something because he started screaming and fell down the stairs. I grabbed the purse and went to go return it to the women but she was talking to a cop saying that's the fatty that stole my purse. Before I know it I was in the police car going back to the station.