Things that need to be changed

Now English class is good, you got reading stuff, grammar stuff, and stuff. But there is one thing that is wrong. This thing might sound dumb but to me this thing is annoying and should not be over looked. It is blogger. Now Blogger is OK but the rules for it are dumb. (Robot Voice) Each entry must be at least 100 words to get full credit. Each student must have left at least 20 comments. Each student must clamp there hand and spin in a circle. Bah Bah Bah. Each student must run a mile and then start blogging. Bah Bah Bah. More dumb rules that are not necessarily.
       This is why I hate doing blogs because of these rules, that say what you can do and what you can't do. Its like going to a museum, don't touch the glass, no flash photography, make sure you wash your hands. Don't walk on the grass.
      So if you had to change something it should be the blogger rules.

I am a wise man

I got the inside info for you. This is how to be a sophomore. Listen here, first you need your drivers licenses if you don't have one get one. Once you have your licenses then buy a limo. After getting a limo tell your friends about the limo. You will be the coolest kid in the school. You should drive the limo for at least a month. So you can get the hang of it. After a month of driving or when you feel that you can drive the limo with out have trouble doing so, you can do the next step of the plan. The next part may get difficult so listen closely. Send a invitation out to all your new sophomore classmates for a drive around town in your new limo. Since you guys are like flies and think bright shiny things are cool, everyone should come. Plan a day when you can take all your classmates with you, because this information wouldn't be useful if not founded all the way. Now after you planned all of this take you and your classmates on a road trip to nowhere and never come back.
 This is just a joke!  

when you wish upon a star

When I wish upon a star knowing happens. Is that what you are suppose to do? Or is Disney a dream crusher. I always thought Disney is full of crap. High priced food, dumb hotels, and a stupid cruise ship full of old people. They like seriously like spent $1.8 billion dollars for an old fart retirement home. Who does that! Second complaint why do they have Disney world and Disneyland. I meant to say why can't they call it Dump one and Dump two. Them places are full of bratty children and obese people. Also don't forget that people have died there. Who wants to ride a ride that people have died on. That is just morbid.      

dumb mistakes

Now this may have been the dumbest mistake in the world that I made. It was so bad that I was embarrassed for weeks maybe even months. It may sound like a comical joke but it wasn't it actually happened. If I told a soul everyone would laugh at me. I probably wouldn't be able to get a job. Just thinking about the incident gives me a chill. The incident was so bad probably not even believable. So I am not going to tell you, sorry. Its a secret. So I'll just tell you a silly mistake. Not the one I was going to tell. One time I was driving and pulled in to Walmart. Got out and went in to get some stuff. Came back out and I locked my keys in the car but thankfully I had a spare key in my pocket.    

treasure hunt

This is a map of Washburn. Population 50 dumb butt and 20 rednecks. First you will need to find the road 89. But be careful of slow moving vehicles and go as fast as you can right past the cops because they love when you do that. Once you have pasted the Community Foods slam on the brakes and turn right into the parking lot. After that you should have the whole town after you. Welcome to Washburn and enjoy your time. Now the treasure is in a hidden spot so listen closely. First you will need to speed around the town because you have angry people after you. So drive down Main Street. Once at the dead end is reached the treasure should be right there . Piece Of cake.

operation save the rabbit

"Be very very quiet I am finding a Rabbit. It's very very hard to do, so be very very quiet." As the short slow Elmer Fudd crept in to the forest he had realized he had messed up. He then realized he was suppose to be hunting them not finding them. So he went down to the local ACME store and bought a gun. He never ever had used a gun so he practiced on the cashier. After shooting the cashier ten times in the head he felt confident and started after that rabbit. With a gun in his right hand and a lot of stolen cash in the other he went strolling down the lane. Now Elmer Fudd was a pretty easy going guy but if you made him mad he was going to go crazy. Has Short Slow Elmer walked on four cop cars started chasing him. Elmer got mad. "you stupid coppers get lost I'm try to hunt rabbits!" "Drop your weapon now" said the angry cop from the cop car. "oh I will Mr. Copper after I pump your head full of lead!" Elmer started shooting like crazy at the cops, killing just about all of them. Then out of the blue Bugs Bunny came up behind Elmer and stabbed him right in the neck. Elmer fell to the ground. "Whats up dead guy." said Bugs Bunny.

mash potato farm simulator

When I was like five. I used to play with my mash potatoes all the time. I would take the spoon and flatten out the potatoes to make a field. Then take a knife and plow the creamy field of white. Once done plowing, I would fill the spoon up with thick dark gravy and dot the field with seed. Then after the field was done I would watch to see if any thing would grow. But as I was watching my mom would said eat your food. And I would say no this stuff is grouse get me some McDonald's. After going to McDonald's I would check my field and usually there would be little fuzz growing in it.  

the missing purple pen

oh no Ms. Hudson was not a responsible adult and lost her pen. Good Golly Ms Molly what shall I every do. Well I know got to staples and get a new one. It is a pen for flip sake. I meant to say lets be kind loving students and find Ms Hudson's pen because that would be the niece thing to do. So I say lets go around the school saying oh purple little pen where are you. Are you OK little purple pen. Don't cry Timothy is going to find you it's OK. And The class can sing to Ms Hudson. Oh where Oh where has my purple pen gone. It ran away from me. With it's little clicker and cap oh where oh where can it be. That would be a site to see. So as I was on my treacherous advantage to find that little purple pen I stumbled upon a cabinet full of purple pens, there was so many in there. At least like six pen in this cabinet. It was like I found treasure but knowing that Ms Hudson's pen has her name on it. I just picked them all up and through them away.
    

5 people that influence you

Five is kind of a limit because there are a lot of people that can influence you and that can't. People around you influence you every day. So I'm going to say poo on the five limit system and talk about more than five people because there is a time to say something about society and that time is now. You can be influenced in two ways the good way or the bad way. And sometimes you have a choice to make to be around bad people or good. But some people are forced to the bad side because of other bad people so you can't make fun of the bad side all the time because won't that make you a bad person? There are a lot of bad people in the world but for every bad there is always a good. For every drug dealer there is a helping hand, for every prostitute there is a helping hand, for every liar there is a helping hand. But it is your choice to take the hand and to become a better person. And if you really want to be a good person and you can't there will be a hero in your life that will help you. You just have to look at the bright side of life for a change. You may say the world is a mess, garbage on the streets, garbage in the ocean, garbage everywhere. But do you know what, stop talking about it and make a change. If everyone was given a chance to go pick up a single piece of trash and I mean everyone this world wouldn't be so bad. But it is not my case to judge if you don't want to help out your community. Everyday people are asked to make a change but it is your decision if you want to. So am I influenced by people? yes. When I see someone doing an act of kindness, that is true awesomeness. Don't tread on the bad people because you could be one of them in the way you live your life. Just have to look at the bright side and live it. If you want to make a change then just do it.  

cupid is stupid

If I was approached by a flying naked midget. I would probably wonder if I was on drugs. Then him asking me in a happy voice of happiness to be cupid for the day. I would probably punish him in his face. Seeing this fly freak makes me not want to like Valentines Day. Actually who in there right mind would think a naked fly midget just says love all over. That person had to be on something that wasn't good. So would I be cupid for a day? Never in a million years. Not even for money! If I was forced to be cupid I would ruin peoples lives. I would make people fall in love with dogs and lamp poles. It would be funny and I would laugh hysterically.

be a little kid

First I was born then I became a punk. First I ran down the hallway butt naked screaming my head off, Only at the age of two hours. Then at the age two I stole the neighbors cat. His name was Tubby because he ate all his cat food. Since my mom wouldn't buy cat food I had to feed him my mom's two pound bag of flour. At age three Tubby died, so I sold him to the science teacher for five dollars. My mother said Timothy you need to see a therapist. So I went, just to see what this therapist had to say. She started talking about how you need to control your energy and how about being nice to people. I cracked up laughing at this chick. She sounded like a hippie "control your enter energy man." That chick was a nut, shes the one that needed a Therapist. So I got up and farted in her face and went on my marry way.        

super power

I wake up and I had a manger problem. It was the super power nobody wanted to have. I had the power to put on weight. Sound great right? No not at all. So I sat in bed 700 pound heavier than I have ever been. It looked like I had ate sixty pound of little Debbie cakes. I thought what kind of super power is this. The only fighting move I had was to sit on people. I thought what a crappy fighting move. So I got up and went outside to greet the world. The next thing that happened wasn't good. People on the streets were staring me down like a freak at the circus. Some three year old had the guts to say to me. hay you are the reason for global warming. I kept on walking ignoring the little brat. But as I looked forward I saw some guy robbing a lady that looked like she has had a rough last night. I started running at the guy and he started laughing. He then run to the under ground subway to get away. Instead of chasing him. I said to my self jokes on you foul  the subway is closed. I walked over to the under ground stair way to meet the foul as he was running back up the stairs. I must have surprised him or something because he started screaming and fell down the stairs. I grabbed the purse and went to go return it to the women but she was talking to a cop saying that's the fatty that stole my purse. Before I know it I was in the police car going back to the station.      

five things

I would choose objects that don't mean much because it would show that I don't follow people. I don't what to be normal. I want to do what, I want to do. Be creative, make history, do something. Not just follow someone and be a copy cat but to do something and call it your own. And some girls would see these five objects and say what the heck but the girls that actually look would see much more. They would see new things, new ideas and just maybe the future. My objects would be a piece of paper, a Lego, pencil, a book with blank pages, and a record with no song. Sounds boring right. But if you think about it. These things can be much more. That piece of paper can be an origami bird flying over the white puffed clouds. That pencil can draw lines that make art and inspiration flow like a river going through a valley of sweet green grass. That book can tell story to generations and generations of people. That Lego could build the future of imagination. That record could be a song to remember one that make life good. But some people just don't see it. I see color exploding in the air of imagination, creativity, music and joy when I see these objects, what do you see?  

crazy dreams

In my dream I was going to some town in a valley and this dream has happened to me so may times. So some driver is driving and he takes me along a mountain road and for some reason I ask for him to pull over then I get out and he drives off and doesn't come back. I then jump off the side of the mountain and I fall and before I hit the ground I close my eyes. I then wake up in my bed. I think I am awake but I'm not because weird things are happening in my room. Like all my furniture is walking around and all the lights in my room are flashing on and off at random times. I then start running around the house scared out of my mind. While I am running my mom's dolls are walking down the stairs from her bedroom saying things like play with me. I like you. Your my best friend. in a creepy death voice from hell. So I run out of the house and that was an even worse idea because my parents cars are trying to eat me. Also the neighbors are running at me with kitchen knifes and Walmart bags. Saying lets go shopping for a new child. I then close my eyes and fall to ground like I was tasted or something. Then I open my eyes and I can't see a thing. Dark blackness fills the room as I sit in a chair that I am tided to with thick heavy rope. Then a flash of light blinds me and laughter fills the air. The laughter gets louder and louder til it is pounding on my head. I wake and sit up in my bed and I hear my mom saying it's time for school and you are going to be late. I realize that I was actually awake and this wasn't a dream and get up to get ready for school.